Un-Belize-able*

Belize. Just saying the country's name makes your face break into a smile. The contrast between deeply conservative and religious Mexico and this laidback rastafarian paradise was apparent as soon as we had our passports stamped at the super-relaxed immigration desk.

"First time here? Welcome to Beliiiizzze," the customs officer smiled, waving us through.

People speak English here, a hangover from Belize's British colonial legacy, but you wouldn't know it sometimes as it is a crazy lilting Caribbean creole dialect (more like Jamaicans). "Better" becomes "Betta", "you" becomes "ya" and dollar becomes "dolla", and the rest, well I understood about as much as I do listening to Mexican teenagers chatting.

A Belizian buddy

A colourful heritage of ancient Maya cities, a British colony, slave outpost and pirate hangout have all left their mark on Belize, making it an amazingly kooky melting pot. For a tiny country with just 300,000 residents, the diversity is amazing. Creoles - descendents of European pirates and African slaves live alongside mestizos, those with both indigenous and Spanish ancestory and a range of other groups including the Garifuna, descendents of shipwrecked African slaves and indigenous Maya.

Backgrounds aside, Belizeans have BIG personalities. They are outgoing and friendly, and always keen to stop and chat. After many, many awkward interactions with Spanish speakers these past few months, it was nice being able to just joke around with people in English and not worry about being misunderstood (although sometimes I had trouble understanding their Ali G- style accents).

Some people stretched the friendship though, as a friendly chat quickly turned into a request for money, and subsequent anger and disappointment if we didn't provide. In Belize City, people weren't shy about asking for coin. We were bailed up after using the ATM, and were hassled by at least 10 people while eating dinner at a restaurant. Walking back to our guest house after our meal, we were pursued by a guy who we had seen earlier in the night. He wanted money because he had recommended the restaurant - in fact it was the only option still open in town (Belizeans have big lunches so most places are closed at night).

Colonial house

We were followed a few times in Belize City by some pretty desperate people, enough to make us realise that it is not the safest place in the world and that lots of people have drug problems. It has had a big surge in crime in the past year - we read about gang-related murders in broad daylight and there was a tale going around about a traveller who had his room busted into by the cops because they were hunting down a suspect.

On balance, Belize City is probably somewhere to avoid - we stayed 2 nights to recover from our 30-hour transit marathon, but otherwise we would have pushed on through. We did meet some interesting (and less threatening) characters though, like a man that went by the name of Prince Charles Paris, and bailed us up on a street corner to give us a history lesson about the history of Belize and how the country got its name.

Funny Belizian English

An animated character, Mr Paris babbled as quickly and excitedly as Willy Wonka as he boasted his history teaching credentials, and insisted we have a free (as if) lesson there and then. He went on for about 20 minutes, about how Belize was called British Honduras until its independence but before that it was called Belkini, after the Mayan Goddess of beauty. Furthermore, he intoned, the British mistakenly thought that Belize meant "muddy waters" but that this was offensive to locals, because the name Belize existed long before their pirates were marooned there.

Finally, he pronounced us Belizian history ambassadors, and after making us stand with our hands on our hearts for several minutes then asked for cash. Again, he wasn't impressed with the amount but I said it was enough to buy him a beer which was what he'd asked for. As soon as we were free of him, another guy raced up to us calling "green and white. I got it all, green and white. Whateva ya need." When we politely said no thank you, he cried "that ok. I'll be here."

Busin' it Belize style

We escaped Belize City for low key Placencia, a trendy getaway down the end of a long, sandy peninsula. Compared to the rest of the country, where most live in two-room wooden houses that do not look hurricane proof, Placencia is pretty upmarket. Yet it seems to have resisted overdevelopment, compared to other beachside resorts we've visited. Most accommodation is either in simple (but well-appointed) beachside cabanas or spruced-up wooden colonial houses with breezy verandas.

Placencia had a good number of beachside restaurants and open-air bars playing reggae, even if it was all a bit above our price range - Belize is surprisingly expensive, even compared to Mexico. We splurged on some beautiful creole food, a delight after the dry, bland pork chops and rice we had been forcing down in Cuba. We had spicy fried chicken and coleslaw, jerk fish (is there anything this country can't jerk?) and a tasty vegetable burrito - Mexican favourites are popular here.

Laidback Placencia

Our next leg - a water taxi, bus and then ferry to Guatemala - was a little clunky. It was all supposed to link together, the bus arriving in time to catch a ferry to the port town of Puerto Barrios, but when we arrived at the wharf we were told the boat was full and we had to wait four hours for the next one. Still, there are worse places to be stuck than at a waterfront immigration office with stunning views of the Caribbean.

Puerto Barrios lived up to its reputation as a seedy port town. It was dusty, jam packed with trucks unloading the contents of a recently arrived container ship, and crawling with shady characters. We found a bed for the night at a ridiculously cheap hotel (no running water during the day, no windows and no light in the bedroom). The price list on the back of the bedroom door listed room rates charged by the hour. Sure enough we awoke throughout the night to the sound of the doorbell being rung by prospective "people of the night" customers.

*Disclaimer: thankfully I am not the author of the terrible pun in the title of this entry - Mr Prince Charles Paris said that whenever we said the word "unbelievable" we were to substitute "belize" for "believe."